Hi all,
It has been a WEIRD few weeks. I’ve been trying to keep it as normal as possible on the blog so we can all escape the news and feel like we have some normality but this week it’s going to be a sort of reflection on what I’ve really been feeling and the lessons I’ve learnt (positive ones I promise).
The first week I thought I was completely fine, it hadn’t been long since I’d seen my family, friends, or my boyfriend and I was on the positive vibes buzz. (as you could probably tell from last weeks baking post which I photographed in week 1)
By the time week two came around I was having ZERO motivation to get of bed and just felt a bit rubbish. I still had some productive days and have progressed on some uni work but I was just feeling a bit down about it all. I was trying to hide it but it’s actually important to acknowledge how I was feeling.
I was down because, I missed people (aren’t we all). But also the last few months of my university experience -where I had so much planned to do – was taken away from me. I can’t physically hand in my dissertation and celebrate all my hard work with my course mates. Or properly say goodbye to my housemates in my flat in Plymouth. I can’t go to summer ball. I can’t graduate in July (who knows when that will happen).
I’m a person that runs of routine and having a plan. That plan was up until graduation and now I feel a bit lost knowing that plan is effectively in the bin.
But the point it: THAT’S OKAY! We are in the middle of a pandemic of course I’m allowed to feel sad about what’s been taken away from me, as are you with whatever has been taken away from you.
I felt selfish for feeling sad when I knew there are people who have it worse, and yes we should hope and send our best wishes to them, but our own situation and feelings about it are just as valid. Sometimes we have to write off a couple of days -which we do have time for- and just let ourselves feel what need to feel (in my case, mourn the exciting months I have lost). But then we have to start to move on, acknowledge what we’ve lost and say, you know what, that’s okay this is my new plan: take each day as it comes until Boris says so. We can’t do anymore than that.
Besides when else are we going able to say that we have saved lives by staying indoors?
After letting myself feel what needed to be felt, in week 3 I was feeling much better and giving myself a break when I needed it. Some days it’s hard to be productive and that’s fine, you just try again tomorrow. Use this time to do what you want and ignore what everyone else is doing, you don’t need to read poetry classics or start a fitness regime, you just need to look after yourself.
What I’ve learnt and want to advise to you is to: Give yourself a break and do whatever you need to do, there will always be another time to try again.
But also get some fresh air. The amount of times I’ve been stuck in a rut or getting fed up or feeling a bit grumpy and then by the time I’ve walked just 5 mins down the road I feel so much better.
Sometimes a run is good too which I’ve been getting into as that helps me. I’ve been doing couch to 5km which I might share my running journey with you at a later date. Although I am putting off my next one as its a whole 25 mins of constant running and I’m not feeling that just yet.
REMEMBER: We have never been mentally or physically prepared for a situation like this, each day is a learning day and I’m sure you are doing your best – – yes, even if that is sitting in bed in pyjamas all day long!
So today brings us to the end of week 4 and almost the beginning of week 5. My aims for the next week are to hand in my Dissertation on Thursday (electronically) and then do whatever I want for the rest of the week, whether that is go for a run or… sit in bed all day in pyjamas watching Harry Potter.
I hope you’re all doing okay, be gentle with yourself x
PS. I might share my Dissertation with you next week/soon if you fancy it (Just don’t tell me if I’ve made any mistakes because it’ll be too late to change anything!)
Abi’s Life in Writing 